Am i synesthetic??? help!!!?

Synesthesia is not bad, in fact, most synesthesites could not imagine or want life without it. I am not sure this is what you have, however, the most common reports from synesthesites is they unavoidably experience the stimulus that's linked to the word/number/colour. If that's what you do, then it's very possible (especially if it remains stable over a long period of time)